I Have to Get It There!!!

a truckers life

Number one rule for a load with an appointment time is… “Get it there safely”. As truckers some of us tend to forget or throw this very important rule out of the truck window. Scores and stats seem to be much more important than their lives and the lives of motorists. We lack consideration and empathy for others on the road! There is nothing more dangerous than a sleepy, distracted or lazy driver behind the wheel of an eighteen wheeler. Take a moment to imagine what a truck weighing 77,000 pounds driving at 60 miles per hour can do to a car or SUV. The people inside don’t stand a chance and if they do survive it was an act of God. Statistics show most fatal accidents are caused by experienced truck drivers that have been driving for 20 or more years. Newbies on the other hand, are knocking down…

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Trials and Tribulations… An Opportunity for Growth.

It’s been three months that I have been out of the loop. Life has been a non- stop roller coaster ride with many trials and tribulations along the way.

Everything was wonderful…. business was going great. I had steady clients keeping me very busy, writing for my blog and two others. Doing everything I love to do for a living. Slowly, everything began to change.

My trials began with the loss of my first client due to cut backs. This was not at all alarming, it’s to be expected when working with a start up business. I made such a great impression that I knew once business picked back up I would be contacted.

Two weeks later one of my computers crashed…. I did not see that coming at all!!! I was not worried it was a back up that I used from time to time. It was mostly used by my fiancee and my step- son.  So being the technology geek that I am, I restored the computer. I saved it from going to computer heaven but it’s not like it was before the virus.

Just when I thought I made it through those two incidents unscathed in July I lost another client. Now it’s safe to say I’m in panic mode. My fiancee was laid off from his job at the chemical plant here in Montgomery and I’m making enough to just get by. The storm is now in full effect!!!

Optimistic, I’m like okay I working full- time with my last client and I still have my main computer. I have the ability to write and win new clients while I wait for past clients to need my expertise. So, I continued to work and write articles. I was too caught up in the rat race to blog or come to the couch. Many of my readers know that I refer to my blog as a therapy session.

Continuing to remain strong through all the trials and tribulations. Positive that all would end very soon on a good note. One day in August, I’m working on an article for Two Drops of Ink when my computer shut totally down. Calmly, I gave it about five minutes and attempted to power it back up. Nothing happened!!! In my mind I’m starting to panic but I remained calm and decided to end my work for the day.

The following day I powered on my computer to only see a black screen. Needless to say I’m in a full panic. In the midst of my panic I find out that my fiancee and stepson were downloading Win Games onto both machines. For those who don’t know often times hackers plant viruses on different types of sites. Game sites are very prone to carry viruses. Unfortunately, I can attest to this first hand!

I know there is a reader saying… “So whats the problem? Use the second computer!” I could and I did! The secondary computer is a slow Compaq with Windows 8. That computer was not good for everything I do on a daily basis. My main computer was a super fast HP with Windows 7 Professional and lightning fast. One week then two weeks go by and the computer would only show a black screen. Thank God I back up all my work both to the cloud as well as on disk.

Wait!!! The plot thickens…. my last client calls me one morning to inform me that we will stop work for a while. The suspend of work was not due to monetary issues but due to my ability to work at a fast pace and efficiently organize a businesses administratively. As an entrepreneur these are the types of situations that should be expected. It still pulled the rug out from under me!

Not only was Jimmy out of work so was I. Bills compile, cellular phone are disconnected and your living on credit alone. Of course depression starts to set in and I cannot make it through the night with out 2- 3 glasses of red wine. The bad out weighs the good and you only see the dark clouds. There is no rainbow when the storm over!!!

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Feeling sorry for myself, I spent many days in bed or on the couch wondering what to do next. As a believer that everything happens for a reason I had to pray. Why? Was a constant question in my mind.

I can either give up or use my circumstances an opportunity for growth. I decided to use the downtime to my advantage. Write more and revamp my virtual assisting business strategies. Learn more about computers and technical support. Most importantly spend more time with my future husband and revisiting our goals in life.

I’m grateful that in trying times Jimmy and I are able to pull together. He is definitely a great motivator and my best friend. If it was not for him and my mother I would still be in the dumps and wondering. It just goes to show that even the strong have weaknesses and need someone to lean on.

Today, I’m back in business. I’m still cleaning up but the storm is over and I do see the rainbow. The road to success is rocky and sometimes life gives us a nudge to make sure we are paying attention. If every day of our life was smooth sailing would we really have something to look forward to?  Would we be grateful for the good and the bad? How would we grow? success

May my trials and tribulations motivate others. I hope you can read this post and say she made her negatives into positives and so can I. The only war wounds I walked away with was a weight gain of thirty pounds. LOL!!! I guess I didn’t suffer too much!!!

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My Experience as a Step Mother.

“You’re not my mother! You can’t tell me what to do! These are the words he uttered as he stomped into his room, slamming the door hard enough to feel the vibration through the house.”

Thirty- eight years old and a step- parent with no children of my own. I can honestly say being a step- parent is not a walk in the park. Dating or marrying a man with a child is a new and life altering experience for me. This relationship is different as well!

Turn and run in the opposite direction as fast as you can! My mind told me in the past when meeting a man with a child or children. Followed by Do Not Answer (DNA) added to the name on the cell phone caller i.d. Excuses like… “I’m extremely busy, I don’t have time to date”. All to avoid the inconvenience and drama associated with getting involved with a man who has a child. Like I said before, this relationship is different!

An unexpected first time meeting.

When I met my fiancé’s son it was not under the best circumstances. No one was available to care for him while the mother was in the hospital.  That left me as the only one available due to the fact that I work from home. His stay would be overnight for a couple of days, I reluctantly agreed to do so. My fiancé had to work nights during that time, so I felt it was my duty to assist my future husband.

It was not as awkward as I thought it would be, He was well mannered and quiet. Entertaining himself with his PlayStation, surfing the internet, and talking to his friends on the cell phone. Although, there was a red flag that presented itself. He used profane language when talking on the phone with his friends. His ringtone contained a rap lyric with profane language as well. Most importantly, the disrespectful manner in which he spoke to his mother when having a conversation with her. These were the issues I felt I had to bring to my fiancé’s attention. I knew there was an underlying issue even with though he remained respectful to me, his father and my mother.

A child with no respect for authority.

The second visit is when the lack of authority was revealed. For as long as Jim and I have been together, he often confided in me about his sons constant acting out. He constantly had trouble with authority figures in school and his mother. Is it due to our relationship? Jim reassured me that it was not due to our relationship. His behavior changed once he moved out of the home they shared as a family. This is understandable, but I continued to find his behavior disturbing. I know that children act out at times, to get attention, puberty or when they are mentally stressed. I still felt there was more to it!

Troubled child or a child with no parental guidance.

The morning Jim was set to pick up his son for the weekend, we agreed on some house rules. First, he was to change the ring tone to something more age appropriate. Second, he was not to use profane language. Last but not least, he must be respectful to adults. Jim stated he would go over the rules with him on the way home. I was extremely happy that we saw eye to eye on the rules put in place. I felt this may help to add structure to his life.

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He entered the house with a snarl and a roll of the eyes. He walked back to what was the spare bedroom and shut the door. Disrespectful behavior! I was taught, when you enter a room you greet those who are present. Jim stated, he had a rough week at school and fought with his mother before leaving home. Regardless of what went on his actions were not acceptable. As a result, we decided to ban access to the game console and internet which seemed to us to be a good idea. We enforced this punishment as a united front and informed our upset child that this would carry out through the weekend.

Children will often test the limits put in place.

The next day, Jim and I went to the grocery store to get dinner. We left my stepson in the care of my sister with strict instructions banning the use of his PlayStation. Well, we returned to find him defying our rules. He ignored my sisters’ reminder that he was on restriction. She said… He acted as if I was not even talking to him.” A total disrespect for authority! This definitely bothered me! When confronted and told to turn off the console he threw down the controller and stormed off!

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Who’s at fault? The child or the parents?

Times have changed drastically. Many moons ago, we were taught to respect our elders. Say yes or no ma’am/ sir. Please and thank you were a must. Always be on your best behavior because what you do is a direct reflection on your parents. The parents of back then had no intentions of being our “BFF”, they were more concerned with being parents. Some of us were blessed enough to have mothers and fathers who continued to be responsible, loving and caring parents even after failed marriages or relationships.

I feel as a parent it is our responsibility to try regardless of the circumstances thrown our way. Whether we are a parent or a stepparent, we owe it to our children to give them our love and attention and to try our very best to steer them in the right direction. It’s not our fault if later in life they choose to go in the opposite direction. It is our fault if we don’t try.

Images courtesy of:

http://pixabay.com/en/desperation-worry-longing-447736/

Racism in America or Absence of Love

Why are still talking about racism in 2014? The diversity of culture in the United States is broad and beautiful. Seriously! Is it really that hard to “Love Thy Neighbor”?  Why is it that we will go to great lengths to defend why we dislike something or someone? Unable to open our minds to difference or change. We are missing a key piece of the puzzle which is “Love”. To dislike someone because they are different is a sign of self-esteem issues. Maybe a lack of education or an anti-social lifestyle may be the cause. Often time’s people who are void of love will hide behind abusive behavior. They may also surround themselves with those who give them a feeling of superiority.  How can we expect those who do not love themselves to love others? In situations like these there is no one strong enough to defend the weak or speak out against what is wrong. Love and self- respect gives us strength and courage. Strength to defend ourselves and others against hatred and harm. Love gives us courage to stand up to those who spew hatred and try to endanger others.

Why is it not O.K. to be different? Is it necessary for us to all wear the same designers, and wear the same sizes? Color, cut and style our hair the same way and be the same color? That is not the way it is or the way it should be. The difference in people and cultures is beautiful. I love the little quirks that make me different from my sister and any average 37 year old woman. Those of us who live nonjudgmental lives with love in our hearts are stunned when we read or turn on the news to reports of racist acts or remarks of any kind. How we as humans can have such a lack of love for others baffles me. Wild animals get along better than humans. We are so aggressive towards one another that it is ridiculous.

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We all get a little angry at times. Who has not said something they didn’t mean? It’s just great practice to take a moment to step back and approach the situation in a calm manner. If you just absolutely have a problem with a person or a group of people, keep it to yourself. Of course I feel you should get professional help, find out what it is within that causes the hatred. If you don’t feel you need or want help then by all means limit your exposure to what causes you to feel uncomfortable. The fact that I’m writing this article shows that even though we are so far advanced, we are still so far behind.

If we take the time to look deep into the history of America, we would see that this country was built with love. Love for a new beginning, love for freedom, and love of family. All this love was fueled by man’s idea or need for a new beginning for their family to freely prosper. Those of us who live in love must learn to close our ears to foolish behavior. Remember, there are some who say and do things as a cry for attention. There are those who get a little upset and then those who are so full of themselves that feel they can say and do as they wish. Let’s ignore their ignorance but stand up when needed. We can choose to live in the past and continue to be affected by its occurrences or we can move forward. Love has brought us through all of that so that we may live in the presence of love.

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Author: Lydia Y. Oyetunji

Created: 06/11/2013 at 7:00pm EST

 

 

How Americans Feel About The Leaders Of America!!!

Italo Calvino said: The more enlightened our houses are, the more their walls ooze ghosts. Describe the ghosts that live in this house:

Image credit: “love Don’t live here anymore…” – © 2009 Robb North – made available under Attribution 2.0 Generic

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