OMG, I don’t know who you are anymore! That was what my roommate said after I hung up on her for asking me to do her a favor. This was not a simple and quick request. The favor would take hours on my only off day when I clearly told her that morning it was an ME day. Hair, nails, a little r&r, etc. Oh, so you don’t know me anymore?
She like most people are familiar with the conservative yet opinionated Lydia. The gal who kept things ‘PC’ and as ‘PG’ as possible. Ms. “Sure I can handle that.” Sure, why wouldn’t I do that favor for you? What I want to do can wait! I Live, Love and Shared in a warm and fuzzy way, even when deep down inside it didn’t make ‘me‘ feel warm and fuzzy. Don’t get me wrong the old me was not all bad. I had loyal friends and associates, great clients, some devout readers, and a nice social media tribe. But like most things in life… It’s been a long time coming and a change has come!
Allow me to reintroduce myself!!!
Who I am today is not who I was a year ago! So, reintroductions are in order! I refuse to be stagnant in life nor do I wish to be a creature of habit. I introduce you to a woman focused on growth. Mentally, spiritually, emotionally and financially. I am humble but proud, complicated and complex without apology. My loyalty remains unwavering. The only difference is now, I expect the same. My stubborn and blunt words can sometimes be hard to handle. The bushes I once would beat around have all been diminished to dust. The woman who piled as much as possible on her plate and made it a point to consume it all now knows when to say …WHEN! I learned how to stand again after conditioning myself to stay bent over.
Please… Accept My Apology!!!
There are family members, friends, and associates who I let down and threw aside. Overly anxious to eagerly help those who were undeserving of my kindness and loyalty. I chose to starve… waiting to eat from a tree that I was promised would bear fruit. Even when I was surrounded by a bountiful harvest. Yet, I had the nerve to ask the gods why I remain hungry. Blindness and lack of wisdom on my part! So, I seek their forgiveness for the mistakes I have made and hope they have mercy due to my courage to admit them.
I happily introduce you to…
The version of myself that I kept incarcerated for so many years. She… who will say what is truly on her mind and not apologize for being me and living in “My Truth”. The woman who knows she is entitled to voice her opinion. I’m bold and it’s ok! I can color outside the lines of society if I choose. A piece of advice! You should not throw stones if you live in a glass house! So, judge me if you must! I will do as I will if it brings harm to none! I take the ability to live life without interference! Even if that means tattooing myself to my heart’s content, stretching ears, piercings my body until there is nowhere else to make another hole. Not wanting to correct my beautifully crooked smile and accepting my hourglass shape. embracing the fact that I love my locs and whatever color I choose to dye them this month. My witchy ways are mine and I live by the rede. Daring not to walk in unison with everyone else does not make me less of a professional or any less of a person. It makes me unique and special! Watch me rejoice in finally being able to stand up and tell you… NO! Regardless of what you say and how it makes you feel because my feelings matter more. I laugh!!! I had to learn this the hard way my friends but the difference between me and some is the fact that I learned it! Yaaay Me!!! When was the last time you took inventory of your life? Are you who you want to be? If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?