Discovering the kink and fetish community. Is this sexy secret for you?

Courtesy of Pixabay.

Justin watched the woman from a corner across the room. He was turned on by her how the silk rope accented her slender neck and nicely-toned back, he instantly wanted to collar her. Aroused at the short leather skirt, how her soft round cheeks peeked out from under it. His eyes traveled down to the bright red heals and he yearned to see them perched up high. He felt an uncontrollable pull, a yearning from deep within. Okay, wait. I’m gonna stop there!  The following lines make for a sexy read. Right? Now, imagine witnessing this scene in person. Well, I had the pleasure of doing just that. This is a continuation of the blog post… “Sex. The good, the ordinary and the ability to overcome boundaries.”I wanted to share my introduction to the fetish community. It was an intriguing learning experience. 

Dare to peek behind the velvet curtain.

My longtime friend Rachael is very familiar with the fetish lifestyle and attends events regularly. She frequents events that are similar to going to a nightclub and those that are more upscale invite only type. I was lucky, my first event was by invite, I was her plus one.  This fetish event required you to dress sexy. You could wear fetish attire or merely dress up. This gave me an excuse to break out the red corset tutu that I usually wear under my retro style dresses. The back in the day fishnet hose and of course stilettos heels. To see Rachael in a liquid leather skin-tight jumper was very surprising. This was definitely a side I knew about but never witnessed with my own eyes. We had our sexy on and was ready to go. 

Kinks and Fetishes in Crimson and Gold.

The parking lot was almost full. At the door, there were two well-dressed gentlemen checking invitations and names on a list. When we entered, it was not at all what I expected. It was raining crimson and gold. The tastefully decorated tables, chairs, perfectly-placed platforms or mini stages and lighting were impressive. You could tell there was thought put into planning the event. Nicely dressed men and women. Men in business suits, jeans button-down shirts, and jacket, a few were in what was explained to be dom-like all black with a flogger hanging from their side. I never saw so many school girl, leather and lace seductively dressed women in one place. Those who wanted to remain anonymous wore masks. Everyone in attendance wanted to get a taste of their particular kink or fetish. This place was a romance writers dream. I bought a drink and found a semi-lit corner where I can view most of what was going on and let my voyeuristic side take over. 

Sadomasochism is on display. 

There was a platform performance or act that piqued my interest and inspired the opening scene of this post. The woman was bent over on a contraption called a spanking bench while this guy wielding what looked like a fraternity paddle smacked her bottom until it matched the color of our surroundings. Rachael explained it as a form of sadomasochism. I guess she read the concerned look on my face because she abruptly informed me that what I was witnessing is the lower level act. It can get much more sadistic. She directed my attention to a guy standing against a wall. The intensity in his face made you want to know what he was thinking. Needless to say, paddling was a fetish he enjoyed. 

Bondage or rope play. 

Believe it or not, some people enjoy the act of being tied up. Rachel made sure I was front and center for this act. The girl was laid out on the stage as the gentleman used silk rope to basically hog tie her. This was not the type you would witness from a Cowboy at a state fair. He took great care in his work. Slowly and methodically he started above her breast and laced the rope down wrapping it around her several times. He crisscrossed it in front of her stomach, wrapped several times around her waist and strategically around her butt, between her legs then wrapped her legs all the way down to her ankles. The act was well rehearsed. Oh, but it did not stop there! A hook was attached to the rope at her lower back, and she was carefully hoisted into the air. As she hung there, he would slowly turn her and flog her with a riding crop. This act does not necessarily fall under the sadomasochism, but it is one of five forms of BDSM.  What impressed me more than the actual performance was watching him communicate with her. I could tell he was making sure she was comfortable. 

 Myths and misconceptions removed. 

 That night was an eye awakening experience. I can honestly say that every myth and misconception that invaded my brain was removed. First hand, I was able to infiltrate the world of kink and fetish. What another person likes sexually may not be what the next person may want. There is nothing wrong with that, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. As I said before, sex is mostly psychological, and if you are with a person of like mind, then I say go for it. There are so many reasons why people live out their unconventional desires. Who are we to judge? Do your research find an event in your area. Visit websites and chat with people who have been in the lifestyle for a while. Don’t be afraid to reach out to them. Would you like to read more about this subject? Leave me a question in the comments or send me a private message. 

Is dating over for women over 40 or are we the elite of all single women?

Over the past few years, it has come to my attention that there has been an increase of single 40 and over women. Yes, I am included in that number. We are not in a relationship due to divorce, separation, our career has required all of our attention or the inability to find the right mate. Some women seem to think now that in their40’s dating life is over. Personally, I have experienced the opposite.  Men seek out younger women, they say. I don’t see that as entirely accurate. In my case, I find that young and much older men are more attracted to me than men in my age range. Although, you must choose wisely!

Older men prefer younger women?

It’s not always about youth when it comes to older men and dating. As a woman over forty in the dating arena, I get asked out quite a bit on my dating site and in public by older men. I find that older men are attracted to me because of my young spirit. They seek women who will make them feel youthful. I admit that I do tend to discriminate a bit when it comes to going out with men 50 and over. Can he keep up?  That’s the question in my mind. I am an active and open-minded woman. I prefer a rock concert to go to dinner. An adventurous hike is more my style than walking in a park. Hell, let’s jump out of plain versus going on a hot air balloon ride. I am open about my interests and hobbies. These are not interests that I want to scratch off my bucket list. These are regular hobbies! Movie night is great but to keep my attention you have to be active. The older men who I come in contact with are of like mind and find that quality intriguing. I have met some that would give me a run for my money when it comes to activity level. One woman said… Older men are not as attractive as men my age and younger.  Where are you looking? I have met on and offline some older men who are gorgeous. I mean drool worthy! We also have to keep in mind that men are visual creatures. What does your appearance say to them? We have to take these factors into consideration. We don’t have tobe CoverGirl ready, fashionistas with perfect bodies. Although, we do wanna take care of ourselves and mix it up sometimes. My dating profile will show me all dolled up for a night on the town and what I look like on a typical football Sunday. I have even Skype or Face-timed with someone I’m dating at two in the morning when I think I look like death warmed over. “This is what you will get if we were to get serious!” I like to be as transparent as possible. My advice… Don’t turn your back on the older guys ladies!

Are you a Cougar? 

No. I am not a “Cougar!”Why is that a woman who dates a younger man has to wear that title? When the roles are reversed the man gets an “atta- boy” and a pat on the back? This stigma causes older women to turn down great guys just because of their age. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with dating a younger guy I have, and I will continue. Younger guys are more interested in me than guys my age and older. It can be for long-term, for friends, or for sex. I figure that out in the conversation. I also have a target age of 35. I don’t date guys under 35. I will be 42 in January. There, I told you. Now you know my age! Other factors determine where the relationship goes. Look, ladies! Younger men tend to want us more because…

1. We have our shit together.
2. The need to impress is long gone. 
3. No pressure of marriage or to start a family. 
4. We have more of an idea of what a man likes and what he needs. Wink! Wink! 

There are pros and cons of dating a younger man. Figure out what you want out of that type of relationship. Don’t be in a hurry! Take it nice and slow! 

Remember this! As women, we naturally have the upper hand. Those of us who are 40 and over and realize we have the upper hand have now tapped into a new sense of power. Now, all we have to do is learn how to use this power in the dating world to our advantage. We are at the prime of our lives, and we are the elite of the female species. So, own it! Most of all… have fun doing it!   

Growth Game… 100 and Strong!

OMG, I don’t know who you are anymore! That was what my roommate said after I hung up on her for asking me to do her a favor. This was not a simple and quick request. The favor would take hours on my only off day when I clearly told her that morning it was an ME day. Hair, nails, a little r&r, etc. Oh, so you don’t know me anymore?

 

She like most people are familiar with the conservative yet opinionated Lydia. The gal who kept things ‘PC’ and as ‘PG’ as possible. Ms. “Sure I can handle that.” Sure, why wouldn’t I do that favor for you? What I want to do can wait! I Live, Love and Shared in a warm and fuzzy way, even when deep down inside it didn’t make ‘me‘ feel warm and fuzzy. Don’t get me wrong the old me was not all bad. I had loyal friends and associates, great clients, some devout readers, and a nice social media tribe. But like most things in life… It’s been a long time coming and a change has come!

 

Allow me to reintroduce myself!!!

 

Who I am today is not who I was a year ago! So, reintroductions are in order!  I refuse to be stagnant in life nor do I wish to be a creature of habit. I introduce you to a woman focused on growth. Mentally, spiritually, emotionally and financially. I am humble but proud, complicated and complex without apology. My loyalty remains unwavering. The only difference is now, I expect the same. My stubborn and blunt words can sometimes be hard to handle. The bushes I once would beat around have all been diminished to dust. The woman who piled as much as possible on her plate and made it a point to consume it all now knows when to say …WHEN! I learned how to stand again after conditioning myself to stay bent over.

 

Please… Accept My Apology!!!

 

There are family members, friends, and associates who I let down and threw aside. Overly anxious to eagerly help those who were undeserving of my kindness and loyalty. I chose to starve… waiting to eat from a tree that I was promised would bear fruit. Even when I was surrounded by a bountiful harvest. Yet, I had the nerve to ask the gods why I remain hungry. Blindness and lack of wisdom on my part! So, I seek their forgiveness for the mistakes I have made and hope they have mercy due to my courage to admit them.

 

I happily introduce you to…

 

The version of myself that I kept incarcerated for so many years. She… who will say what is truly on her mind and not apologize for being me and living in “My Truth”.  The woman who knows she is entitled to voice her opinion. I’m bold and it’s ok! I can color outside the lines of society if I choose. A piece of advice! You should not throw stones if you live in a glass house! So, judge me if you must! I will do as I will if it brings harm to none! I take the ability to live life without interference! Even if that means tattooing myself to my heart’s content, stretching ears, piercings my body until there is nowhere else to make another hole. Not wanting to correct my beautifully crooked smile and accepting my hourglass shape. embracing the fact that I love my locs and whatever color I choose to dye them this month. My witchy ways are mine and I live by the rede. Daring not to walk in unison with everyone else does not make me less of a professional or any less of a person. It makes me unique and special! Watch me rejoice in finally being able to stand up and tell you… NO! Regardless of what you say and how it makes you feel because my feelings matter more. I laugh!!! I had to learn this the hard way my friends but the difference between me and some is the fact that I learned it! Yaaay Me!!! When was the last time you took inventory of your life? Are you who you want to be? If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?

 

Be True to Thy Self!!!

A Woman’s Worth Is Far More Than Rubies. Proverbs 31:10

Woe is me… A popular song women choose to sing on certain holidays and during this time of year. Tis the season! Wedding bells are ringing, extravagant cakes with four to five tiers are being baked, expensive wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses are shopped for as we speak. Although, through it all there are female participants in the festivities and bystanders wondering, moaning… “Why not me?”

Always a bridesmaid never a bride.

A couple of female friends and I sit comfortably in my living room sipping wine and playing catch up. The conversation is wonderful then here it comes. The mood takes a turn that I have no interest in because they always hate my outlook. I’m not wielding pom- poms! All from one jealous statement. “Why is Susan getting married?” “When will it be my turn?” Faces turn red, eyes are rolled! Negative and slandering statements are made about the soon- to- be bride. The male bashing begins!!! I reach for my wine in aggravation! Thinking about the character of each woman as a glance around the room. Two, are not married for good reason!!! No shade! My friends are quite aware of how I feel.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect! If I was, I would not be single. I’m the woman who tries to fix men. I will find a bad boy and dress him in a suit and tie and call him “reformed”. LOL!!! But, if I know nothing else… I know my worth! As a woman, the one thing we should not do is measure ourselves against another woman. What is even more deplorable is stomping on another woman’s success. Shame on you!

The woman in the mirror!

Instead of standing in the mirror taking duck-faced selfies, look into the depths of yourself. Again, I am not throwing stones. I have one or two duck- faced photos of myself on Instagram. Although, when I look into the mirror I rather speak positivity into myself. Mantra’s like:

“I am beautiful; We may hear it from men constantly but it means the world when you say it to yourself.”

“I am strong; It helps me through the times that I feel weak.”

“I am successful; Quiets the voice that says, you will fail.”

“I am who I say I am; Powerful against all self- doubt.”

Ever heard the saying… Why buy the milk if you can get the cow for free? I asked the women that question. Of course, I giggled at the looks of contempt. So, I explained myself. Half naked pictures advertising that you’re single. More than willing to sell your virtue for dinner and a movie. Maybe a trinket or a trip here and there. Why in hell should he put a ring on it? Newsflash ladies: Men are looking for a woman, not a girl using her looks and body for an opportunity.

Who can find a virtuous woman?

Listen for a moment! Do you hear that? Men are asking their counterparts, married homeboys, and mothers… Where do I find a virtuous woman? My brothers, guy friends, workmates, business partners ask me that very question. They claim to want a woman who is going to add stability to my life. I need an equal! You would not believe how men truly feel about women.

“Women are just as aggressive as men. You don’t have to work for it!”

“It’s ok for a one night stand but I would never take her home to meet mom.”

“She’s not wife material.”

“Women nowadays are golddiggers.”

If this is the type of woman I have to look forward to then why commit? So, men rather play the field and drink the milk of all the free cows roaming around. Once they get their fill or use up one, they move on to the other. You, my friend, are left empty and wondering what went wrong. Did you think he was the one?

You are powerful!

Stop giving up your power! He does not define who you are. Find your worth within yourself and you will attract he who is worthy of you. Decide what you can and will bring to the table and whether he is worthy to take a seat! It’s okay to eat alone!!! Once you realize that you’re worth more than rubies you will never again settle for being treated like costume jewelry.

Don’t worry ladies, I know there are two sides to a coin. Part two will talk about those men who are “dazed and confused”.

 

#MondayMotivation for Writers.

For some of us, life throws obstacles in our way. These barriers prevent us from achieving personal goals or following our passions in life. Persevere…. make time to invest in yourself. This is a mantra I started telling myself. I found myself slowly being consumed by work and losing out on the moments that I NEED to be creative. Writing is not just a past- time for me!!! It is for my well-being and a passion. I will no longer ask permission to achieve greatness.

#FridayFeeling!!!✍✍🎶🎶✍✍

I have been held hostage in ‘Slackerdom’!!! It’s a little kingdom that has kept me from writing as much as I usually would for Two Drops of Ink and for my personal blog. The inhabitants of Slackerdom usually visit me when I get caught up in work. They convince me that work is more important than pursuing my passion. What’s funny is I do what I love for a living. #Amwriting and doing #socialmediamangement daily but work is work. Returning home to the creative realm on a daily basis is an almost impossible trip. I fall prey to the #impossible forgetting that #I’mpossible!!! Half written compositions are evidence of my attempted voyage but I am unsuccessful in reaching my destination. I get lost along the way!!! Practice what you preach, Chica!!! Is what my creative side screams from the recesses of my being. The workaholic puts her in chains and throws her in a #Heart Shaped Box.

Today, I’m working on social media for my love… Two Drops of Ink. I have been separated from my love!!! Funny to say that when I have Live, Love, Share but Two Drops of Ink is a relationship I can’t explain. A forbidden affair that I can’t get enough of.  Live, Love, Share is a love that I take for granted but don’t want to let go. I need Live, Love, Share!!! It’s me stripped bare, truly naked, transparent with all inhibitions out the window. My readers see me and ALL my flaws. Liberation feels good!!! Allows my light to shine brighter!!!

This, my friend, is my #FridayFeeling. An attempt to Live, Love, Share! Hey, enjoy the song by Santan “Put Your Lights On” that I felt was fitting. At least in my head!!! The lyrics are poetic truth!!!

 

Featured Image: John Hain via Pixabay.com

 

 

Picture of The Day: Dream

Art washes from the soul the dust of everyday life. – Pablo Picasso

 

Last night I was prompted to start posting my “Picture of The Day” again on my blog. At 1 AM in the morning, I was still wide awake. This is definitely not good when you are up at 5:30 AM to start your day! In an attempt to do something to calm my brain that was running a mile a minute I decided to look at some art online. As I clicked through artwork, I noticed my thoughts began to quiet, and I was growing increasingly relaxed. Before I knew it, I was down for the count.

It is interesting how art affects your brain! University College London did a study that proved; viewing art for an hour will change your emotions. The simple act of seeing art will enhance your critical thinking skills, give you a higher sense of empathy, and spark creativity. Art releases dopamine into the part of the brain that registers love. Love is a calm feeling!

As writers, the switch in our brain is more often in the on position than in the off. I have discovered that we need to disconnect and reboot. This is something that I don’t do very often. From the time my feet hit the floor in the morning, I am off to the races. I have so much to do and determined to get it done. I am going to try to disconnect more, and I urge all of my followers to do the same. Hell, if we don’t stop to smell the roses, at least we can press pause and view some art! I hope you enjoy the picture of the day!

 

By Geralt   https://pixabay.com/id/kupu-kupu-bokeh-magic-mimpi-407746/

My Continued Service To You!

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.  – Mahatma Gandhi

 

Skills are either learned or are innate! A calling, if you will! As a pre- teen before I knew what a Fortune 500 company was I knew I wanted to wear a business suit and carry a briefcase. I knew that was not my calling! At that age, a child tends to migrate to what they see as being cool. They start to get their first inclinations of what they want to be when they grow up.

Then high school came along! Freshmen year introduced me to JROTC. Finally, I found my calling! By my sophomore year JROTC undoubtedly removed the briefcase and replaced it with a uniform and the need to serve my country. Once I graduated, I was off to begin my career in the United States Navy. My greatest accomplishment in life!

Finding My place in Service.

Once I finished my service in the Navy, my need to be of service did not end. Like I stated earlier, some skills are learned, and some are innate! I needed to figure out a way to efficiently serve others. The epiphany came in the form of a client comment. As a freelance writer and virtual administrative assistant, I worked with a few loyal customers who loved how I assisted them in running their businesses. One of my clients who referred to me as “The Fixer,” stated Chronicles Administrative Support Services was not an accurate depiction of me and the way I handled business. He elaborated on how he felt about my service. After interviewing other clients, I began my rebranding process.

The Birth of A New Call to Service.

After a week of brainstorming and reviewing the opinions of those I interviewed, The Militant Virtual Assistant finally was born. The Militant Virtual Assistant is a representation of how I service businesses. The foundation is Honor, Courage, and Commitment! To honorably service companies as if they were my own. The courage to go the extra mile and to be a support system for the entrepreneur and the commitment to efficiently help set goals and see them out to completion. The military pillars that are a part of my psyche, I now utilize to motivate entrepreneurs to live out their dreams of being a successful business owner.

Why Militant VA?

As an entrepreneur and business owner, I put myself in the position of my clientele. What do they need the most? It is not just a person to handle calls, check emails or keep them on schedule. Entrepreneurs need more hours in a day! They need to be in two places at once. I pride myself on the ability to keep longer than usual hours; my hours are flexible. I have clients who call or text me on weekends and late in the evening. I have had a realtor showing a house, while I negotiated another deal while texting numbers with them. I feel many Virtual Assistants (VAs) drop the ball by keeping bankers hours and unavailable on weekends. Entrepreneurs rarely take a day off! I am not just there to service the business. I learn the business to become an asset to the company which allows me to aid in its success efficiently.  When my client is successful, I am successful!

Initially, I thought nothing would be as satisfying as my military career. I can honestly say “The Militant Virtual Assistant” fills that void. I get to do what I love for a living which is not considered work but living out a dream.

 

The Delusion of Love.

He descended from the  Arabian horse with pride and regality. Although, he stood among many who gathered to win the hand of the queen he stood alone. For her maidens whispered and blushed at the very sight of him. The rainbow of great knights brought a smile to her eyes as she stared out of the throne room window. They waited in anticipation to cross the bridge and enter her castle. They would drink and be merry before presenting themselves before the beautiful queen.

The moment finally came, the noble knight bowed down at the feet of the Queen and presented her with a single white rose. “This rose is magical and is a representation of my promise of love and adoration until we leave this world and ascend into the heavens. I vow to love you even  then.”  Words so sweet, she thought his lips dripped with honey.The queen’s trusted advisor permitted the knight to come forward. He took the queen’s hand kissed her palm and placed the rose within it.

Many came after him presenting gifts and declaring unending love. None touched the heart of the queen as the Irish knight. Dressed in all black made from the finest fabric money could buy. His skin as smooth as milk, set on fire by the bright redness of his full beard and hair. He warmed her heart and butterflies waltzed within. She was drunk with an infatuation for the knight.

The sun set many days welcoming the rising moon, yet the magical rose remained as new. He haunted her day and night! Finally, the time came, she made her decision, and the Irish knight would take the throne beside her. Her decision was against the advice of her trusted advisor, but the queen thought she must follow her heart.

Everyone in the kingdom was invited to celebrate the queen’s wedding; from the lowest of peasants to the noblest. She was a picture of beauty. The white lace gown traced her full curves; her copper skin peeked through the lace dress and veil. Onlookers stirred with excitement at her breathtaking beauty as she gracefully sauntered down the aisle to meet her future king. In her hand she carried the unaged single white rose he presented with the night he met her.

Happier than she had ever been, the queen would never forget the day she married the newly crowned king. Although, the queen’s advisor informed the queen that her days of happiness would not last until her end of time. Spiritual advisors advised the queen that her eyes were deceptive; she would bring great pain to herself, the reigning king and people of the land. Her heart was not the source of her decision. The spiritual advisors were beheaded! How dare anyone question the actions of her majesty!

Days evolved into weeks, months and then years. The queen again was sole ruler over the kingdom without the consult of the king; he was a mere footstool of the queen. She despised the man she’d come to know. The king loved the Queen even more than he did when he first met her acquaintance but his love was unrequited. Their marital bed was no longer; the once magical rose had long met its demise. The queen often wished she has never met her king. Regretful she never took the advice of her late advisor. Misery, dissolved his heart sending him to an early grave.

Happiness and love are feelings! Our eyes will deceive us when they are used to depict our emotions.

When Everything Falls Perfectly Into Place!

Don’t you love when you put a plan into action, and it unfolds just as you hoped? Even the smallest accomplishments in life can be satisfying. At least they are to me. As an optimist, I believe the small achievements give way to the major ones.

I have been writing full time for six months now. Which has always been a desire of mine! The ability to do what I’m most passionate about for a living. When I started virtual assisting, I thought most of my work would come from social media marketing and management with a splash of writing tasks. In the past, it did, but as of lately the majority of contract work has been writing content for websites, articles, and research. I’m not complaining, in fact, I am excited!

Two Drops of Ink adds to my excitement! For those of you who do not follow Two Drops of Ink, first I say… “shame on you!!!” Just kidding, to each their own but you don’t know what you’re missing! I have noticed many of my followers here, and on Instagram and Twitter are now regulars on the site. The literary site has grown tremendously, conquering many obstacles. The move from Blogger to WordPress! The move due to growth served up a hit to it’s following, but Two Drops of Ink overcame it by leaps and bounds. When people love something so much, they will do everything possible to keep it a part of their lives. Along the way the site has earned many awards and is on its way to becoming the best literary site for writers. It’s already in the top 50 best writing blogs that achievement is huge!!! All the new features are a great addition to the site. The Book Shelf is for authors to promote their novels. Wall of Poets debuts the work of seasoned and upcoming poets. Hump Day Humor gives us writers something to laugh about so if you have a funny story or memoir piece submit it. Sunday Spotlight highlights contributors to the site. The site is excellent! I remember coming on board right after the transition. The growth I have seen along the way has been incredible. I also credit my growth as a writer to the site. The camaraderie of the team is like no other. I am ecstatic to be in the company of such great writers. As we speak, I’m working on my next three pieces for Two Drops, and I hope to read a post from you in the future as well.

I will continue to Live, Love, Share!!! This blog is my baby, and yes she has been a little neglected, but I have a strategy. I can function on less sleep!!! LOL!!! For my love of writing and my future literary career, I’m willing to give up a lot!!! So my friends, until next time…soon, have an awesome week and may the power of the pen be with you!!!

 

Qimono on Pixabay

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