Growth Game… 100 and Strong!

OMG, I don’t know who you are anymore! That was what my roommate said after I hung up on her for asking me to do her a favor. This was not a simple and quick request. The favor would take hours on my only off day when I clearly told her that morning it was an ME day. Hair, nails, a little r&r, etc. Oh, so you don’t know me anymore?

 

She like most people are familiar with the conservative yet opinionated Lydia. The gal who kept things ‘PC’ and as ‘PG’ as possible. Ms. “Sure I can handle that.” Sure, why wouldn’t I do that favor for you? What I want to do can wait! I Live, Love and Shared in a warm and fuzzy way, even when deep down inside it didn’t make ‘me‘ feel warm and fuzzy. Don’t get me wrong the old me was not all bad. I had loyal friends and associates, great clients, some devout readers, and a nice social media tribe. But like most things in life… It’s been a long time coming and a change has come!

 

Allow me to reintroduce myself!!!

 

Who I am today is not who I was a year ago! So, reintroductions are in order!  I refuse to be stagnant in life nor do I wish to be a creature of habit. I introduce you to a woman focused on growth. Mentally, spiritually, emotionally and financially. I am humble but proud, complicated and complex without apology. My loyalty remains unwavering. The only difference is now, I expect the same. My stubborn and blunt words can sometimes be hard to handle. The bushes I once would beat around have all been diminished to dust. The woman who piled as much as possible on her plate and made it a point to consume it all now knows when to say …WHEN! I learned how to stand again after conditioning myself to stay bent over.

 

Please… Accept My Apology!!!

 

There are family members, friends, and associates who I let down and threw aside. Overly anxious to eagerly help those who were undeserving of my kindness and loyalty. I chose to starve… waiting to eat from a tree that I was promised would bear fruit. Even when I was surrounded by a bountiful harvest. Yet, I had the nerve to ask the gods why I remain hungry. Blindness and lack of wisdom on my part! So, I seek their forgiveness for the mistakes I have made and hope they have mercy due to my courage to admit them.

 

I happily introduce you to…

 

The version of myself that I kept incarcerated for so many years. She… who will say what is truly on her mind and not apologize for being me and living in “My Truth”.  The woman who knows she is entitled to voice her opinion. I’m bold and it’s ok! I can color outside the lines of society if I choose. A piece of advice! You should not throw stones if you live in a glass house! So, judge me if you must! I will do as I will if it brings harm to none! I take the ability to live life without interference! Even if that means tattooing myself to my heart’s content, stretching ears, piercings my body until there is nowhere else to make another hole. Not wanting to correct my beautifully crooked smile and accepting my hourglass shape. embracing the fact that I love my locs and whatever color I choose to dye them this month. My witchy ways are mine and I live by the rede. Daring not to walk in unison with everyone else does not make me less of a professional or any less of a person. It makes me unique and special! Watch me rejoice in finally being able to stand up and tell you… NO! Regardless of what you say and how it makes you feel because my feelings matter more. I laugh!!! I had to learn this the hard way my friends but the difference between me and some is the fact that I learned it! Yaaay Me!!! When was the last time you took inventory of your life? Are you who you want to be? If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?

 

Be True to Thy Self!!!

A Woman’s Worth Is Far More Than Rubies. Proverbs 31:10

Woe is me… A popular song women choose to sing on certain holidays and during this time of year. Tis the season! Wedding bells are ringing, extravagant cakes with four to five tiers are being baked, expensive wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses are shopped for as we speak. Although, through it all there are female participants in the festivities and bystanders wondering, moaning… “Why not me?”

Always a bridesmaid never a bride.

A couple of female friends and I sit comfortably in my living room sipping wine and playing catch up. The conversation is wonderful then here it comes. The mood takes a turn that I have no interest in because they always hate my outlook. I’m not wielding pom- poms! All from one jealous statement. “Why is Susan getting married?” “When will it be my turn?” Faces turn red, eyes are rolled! Negative and slandering statements are made about the soon- to- be bride. The male bashing begins!!! I reach for my wine in aggravation! Thinking about the character of each woman as a glance around the room. Two, are not married for good reason!!! No shade! My friends are quite aware of how I feel.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect! If I was, I would not be single. I’m the woman who tries to fix men. I will find a bad boy and dress him in a suit and tie and call him “reformed”. LOL!!! But, if I know nothing else… I know my worth! As a woman, the one thing we should not do is measure ourselves against another woman. What is even more deplorable is stomping on another woman’s success. Shame on you!

The woman in the mirror!

Instead of standing in the mirror taking duck-faced selfies, look into the depths of yourself. Again, I am not throwing stones. I have one or two duck- faced photos of myself on Instagram. Although, when I look into the mirror I rather speak positivity into myself. Mantra’s like:

“I am beautiful; We may hear it from men constantly but it means the world when you say it to yourself.”

“I am strong; It helps me through the times that I feel weak.”

“I am successful; Quiets the voice that says, you will fail.”

“I am who I say I am; Powerful against all self- doubt.”

Ever heard the saying… Why buy the milk if you can get the cow for free? I asked the women that question. Of course, I giggled at the looks of contempt. So, I explained myself. Half naked pictures advertising that you’re single. More than willing to sell your virtue for dinner and a movie. Maybe a trinket or a trip here and there. Why in hell should he put a ring on it? Newsflash ladies: Men are looking for a woman, not a girl using her looks and body for an opportunity.

Who can find a virtuous woman?

Listen for a moment! Do you hear that? Men are asking their counterparts, married homeboys, and mothers… Where do I find a virtuous woman? My brothers, guy friends, workmates, business partners ask me that very question. They claim to want a woman who is going to add stability to my life. I need an equal! You would not believe how men truly feel about women.

“Women are just as aggressive as men. You don’t have to work for it!”

“It’s ok for a one night stand but I would never take her home to meet mom.”

“She’s not wife material.”

“Women nowadays are golddiggers.”

If this is the type of woman I have to look forward to then why commit? So, men rather play the field and drink the milk of all the free cows roaming around. Once they get their fill or use up one, they move on to the other. You, my friend, are left empty and wondering what went wrong. Did you think he was the one?

You are powerful!

Stop giving up your power! He does not define who you are. Find your worth within yourself and you will attract he who is worthy of you. Decide what you can and will bring to the table and whether he is worthy to take a seat! It’s okay to eat alone!!! Once you realize that you’re worth more than rubies you will never again settle for being treated like costume jewelry.

Don’t worry ladies, I know there are two sides to a coin. Part two will talk about those men who are “dazed and confused”.

 

#FridayFeeling!!!✍✍🎶🎶✍✍

I have been held hostage in ‘Slackerdom’!!! It’s a little kingdom that has kept me from writing as much as I usually would for Two Drops of Ink and for my personal blog. The inhabitants of Slackerdom usually visit me when I get caught up in work. They convince me that work is more important than pursuing my passion. What’s funny is I do what I love for a living. #Amwriting and doing #socialmediamangement daily but work is work. Returning home to the creative realm on a daily basis is an almost impossible trip. I fall prey to the #impossible forgetting that #I’mpossible!!! Half written compositions are evidence of my attempted voyage but I am unsuccessful in reaching my destination. I get lost along the way!!! Practice what you preach, Chica!!! Is what my creative side screams from the recesses of my being. The workaholic puts her in chains and throws her in a #Heart Shaped Box.

Today, I’m working on social media for my love… Two Drops of Ink. I have been separated from my love!!! Funny to say that when I have Live, Love, Share but Two Drops of Ink is a relationship I can’t explain. A forbidden affair that I can’t get enough of.  Live, Love, Share is a love that I take for granted but don’t want to let go. I need Live, Love, Share!!! It’s me stripped bare, truly naked, transparent with all inhibitions out the window. My readers see me and ALL my flaws. Liberation feels good!!! Allows my light to shine brighter!!!

This, my friend, is my #FridayFeeling. An attempt to Live, Love, Share! Hey, enjoy the song by Santan “Put Your Lights On” that I felt was fitting. At least in my head!!! The lyrics are poetic truth!!!

 

Featured Image: John Hain via Pixabay.com

 

 

Hello, my blogging friends!

Oh, how I did miss thee…🥀🥀🥀

Hello, my lovely friends. It is so funny how I build up quite a significant blogging momentum and then out of nowhere “BOOM.” Back down the dark empty hole of nothingness!!! The “hole of nothingness” is an inability to write. Work, Work, and more work is the culprit. Lately, I have been working so much that I feel like a zombie. I don’t like that feeling, and I try my best not to be bitten. I have had few close calls! This is my way of shooting it in the head then burning it! LOL!!! To a certain degree, I need money to live, so I have to work.  I have done just a little writing other than articles and content for websites. I have written another short story and posts for Two Drops of Ink. Work- life balance is the key, but it is easier written and talked about than actually living.

 

Well,  I can’t say that I have been all work and no play. Life has been treating me quite well. I have been full of smiles, and laughter. Living in my happy field of lavender lilies and butterflies. I have had beautiful days with no real complaints. Happiness and positivity fill my heart. I’m in love with people, life and all it has to offer.

 

So, this post is not to say that I’m back full time 3- 4 days per week. I don’t really foresee that happening right now. I’m just too busy for that!!!  I will post as often as I can to build back up my momentum and attempt to keep it at a steady pace.

How has life been treating all of you? Any big news or life changing occurrences?

All images courtesy of pixabay.com.

 

 

 

 

Adopting A Healthy Lifestyle 40 and Over

In 2 months and 15 days, I will be 40 years young. Even though I feel like I am in my twenties and in the prime of my life, ready, willing and able to take on the world, my health is at the forefront. Not just for cosmetic reasons but for longevity and quality of life. Many of us in the 40 and over club share this concern. So as an ex- personal fitness trainer of 8 years, allow me to shed some light on the subject for all of us.

The Battle of “Fort Bulge.”

Okay, so most of my life I always had a flat tummy. Once I began weight training and studying for my ACE fitness trainer certification, I earned rock hard abs that many women would kill to have. It takes hard work and dedication to get them toned and defined. Your diet must be ‘clean’ as we say in the fitness world and you must put in the time and effort. I will go in depth about that shortly.

Currently, I am at war with my body and have been fighting against its pursuit to build “Fort Bulge” right around my waistline. This new unwanted construction has been in effect for a year now but mostly due to my sedentary lifestyle. I do not know if any of you remember from prior posts, but I spent a year on the road with Jimmy( my love), who drives an 18 wheeler. I embarked on the adventure looking good and feeling great; it ended with me 20 pounds heavier and feeling achy and fatigued. Now that I have been home for three months it is time to answer the war cry. Whoever would like to join me in battle, I humbly invite you. We can take up arms together!!!

Where do I start?

If I had a dime for every time a new client asked me that question; I would not be rich, but I would have a nice nest egg for retirement. Detox!!! If you are putting junk in your body, it’s imperative to flush it out. Most people are not aware that we should clean our bodies periodically, it does not matter if you are a carnivore, herbivore, or vegan. Think of your body like your car; you tune it up regularly to keep your engine in good condition. Well, we must do the same for our body. There are many ways to flush your body, colonics, herbs and fasting. What’s most important is you choose what is best for you and consult your physician. Personally, I prefer natural herbs due to my fear of synthetic medicine.

You have had a tune up now it’s time to put the good stuff. Vegetables, protein, carbs, water, water and more water. When you are changing your eating habits, there is a method to the madness. Fifty percent of your meals should be vegetables, 20% protein, 10% carbohydrates and the remaining 20% water. The secret that completes the formula is meal configuration. What to eat and when! Always and I do mean always plan for your heaviest meal around your most active time of the day. Consume your carbs at that time as well; they contain sugar and convert to fat. The body will use the sugar in carbohydrates for energy.

For those who love a thick juicy steak or burger, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s time to cut back or stay away from fried foods. Remember we are at war not only against ‘Fort Bulge’ but also high cholesterol is lobbying for a seat. My plans are to go back to a vegetarian lifestyle. After over ten years of vegetarianism two years ago I started with chicken and graduated to occasionally eating red meat. Needless to say at first, I was very ill, but I was a glutton for punishment. Jimmy loves his pork chops and ribs; he will not be giving them up! Over time I developed acne, fatigue, headaches and gradual weight gain. Well, my friends, I am tired of being sick and tired. Pun intended!!!

What is this thing called exercise?

LOL!!! Let’s not make getting in shape more than what it has to be. No, you don’t have to give your right arm, leg, blood and your first born child to the exercise gods. That statement used to be an excellent icebreaker with new clients. I required newbies to do 45 minutes of cardiovascular training four days a week. Week two we incorporated exercises using their body weight. The third week, I put on my drill sergeant hat, handed them some weights and start teaching form. Suddenly in week four, drill Sargent Lydia is wielding a double barrel shotgun and barking orders. No Pain No Gain was the flag I erected in their minds, and they marched to my beat, happy about the what they hoped to accomplish. Not to pat myself on the back or anything but all my clients received results. Well, maybe a slight pat.

Choose an exercise regimen that will be comfortable for you. A trainer and the gym is not for everyone. At this point, my workout consists of Zumba and Yoga classes with an occasional workout with light weights at an all women’s gym. Just get active. Physical activity will guarantee great results but also increase your energy.

It is Now or Never.

I’m afraid if I don’t start now while it is bugging the hell out of me, I will get complacent. Putting off until tomorrow what I should start today. So as I embark on my journey, I invite others to join me. I am here for advice or encouragement, just comment on this post or email me personally at lydiaoyetunji77@gmail.com.

 

 

 

 

 

Re- Evaluate Thy Self!

Recently, I wrote a post “Where in The World is Lydia.” It was in response to a few Facebook chat and email inquiries as to my whereabouts. I had been so busy that blogging, commenting or writing took a seat way in the back of the bus of life. What grabbed my attention was a comment by Christy Birmingham of Poetic Parfait and When Women Inspire, a great poet, and blogger. However, I digress, Christy stated: “I enjoyed getting learning more about you personally and your daily life.” That statement played over and over again in my head. It is time to reveal more of who I am.

Boring, boring. OMG!!! BORING!!!

I perused my blog to take inventory of my posts. What I found was a woman who was passionate about certain topics but most of all a workaholic. I am either promoting the work of others or writing about what I do for a living. Also an occasional rant about what is going on in America. I pride myself on being transparent and friends who know me compliment me on that quality. Although, my blog does not reveal that the way I want or planned. Hell, the title is Live, Love, Share! I am representing my anthem of life on such an average level. Through my eyes, that is an epic fail!

Re- Evaluate Thy Self!

Maybe I am acting a little melodramatic.  Not so much an evaluation of myself but more so of my blog content. I want my blog to be me! The woman who friends call or come to when they need an ear, want just to hang out and sip wine and watch a chick flick, watch sports, go to an art gallery,  or play the PlayStation and be loud and obnoxious. There are many facets to who I am and I love it. So do others and you would too. So why not write about it?

Live, Love, Share

I live and love, so I want to share more. No, I do not plan to hang out dirty laundry. I live in Atlanta but not like those on “Housewives of Atlanta.” My nerves would not withstand all the drama. LOL!!! I would say I am more like Lorelai on the “Gilmore Girls”  minus the child and profession. I love her! I live and think outside the box. My mind is open enough to transcend boundaries we as people place on ourselves. Life to me is an adventure, so why not enjoy it. So, stay tuned for more content with a healthy helping of a spice called Lydia.

Images Courtesy of Pixabay