Be True to Thy Self!!!

A Woman’s Worth Is Far More Than Rubies. Proverbs 31:10

Woe is me… A popular song women choose to sing on certain holidays and during this time of year. Tis the season! Wedding bells are ringing, extravagant cakes with four to five tiers are being baked, expensive wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses are shopped for as we speak. Although, through it all there are female participants in the festivities and bystanders wondering, moaning… “Why not me?”

Always a bridesmaid never a bride.

A couple of female friends and I sit comfortably in my living room sipping wine and playing catch up. The conversation is wonderful then here it comes. The mood takes a turn that I have no interest in because they always hate my outlook. I’m not wielding pom- poms! All from one jealous statement. “Why is Susan getting married?” “When will it be my turn?” Faces turn red, eyes are rolled! Negative and slandering statements are made about the soon- to- be bride. The male bashing begins!!! I reach for my wine in aggravation! Thinking about the character of each woman as a glance around the room. Two, are not married for good reason!!! No shade! My friends are quite aware of how I feel.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect! If I was, I would not be single. I’m the woman who tries to fix men. I will find a bad boy and dress him in a suit and tie and call him “reformed”. LOL!!! But, if I know nothing else… I know my worth! As a woman, the one thing we should not do is measure ourselves against another woman. What is even more deplorable is stomping on another woman’s success. Shame on you!

The woman in the mirror!

Instead of standing in the mirror taking duck-faced selfies, look into the depths of yourself. Again, I am not throwing stones. I have one or two duck- faced photos of myself on Instagram. Although, when I look into the mirror I rather speak positivity into myself. Mantra’s like:

“I am beautiful; We may hear it from men constantly but it means the world when you say it to yourself.”

“I am strong; It helps me through the times that I feel weak.”

“I am successful; Quiets the voice that says, you will fail.”

“I am who I say I am; Powerful against all self- doubt.”

Ever heard the saying… Why buy the milk if you can get the cow for free? I asked the women that question. Of course, I giggled at the looks of contempt. So, I explained myself. Half naked pictures advertising that you’re single. More than willing to sell your virtue for dinner and a movie. Maybe a trinket or a trip here and there. Why in hell should he put a ring on it? Newsflash ladies: Men are looking for a woman, not a girl using her looks and body for an opportunity.

Who can find a virtuous woman?

Listen for a moment! Do you hear that? Men are asking their counterparts, married homeboys, and mothers… Where do I find a virtuous woman? My brothers, guy friends, workmates, business partners ask me that very question. They claim to want a woman who is going to add stability to my life. I need an equal! You would not believe how men truly feel about women.

“Women are just as aggressive as men. You don’t have to work for it!”

“It’s ok for a one night stand but I would never take her home to meet mom.”

“She’s not wife material.”

“Women nowadays are golddiggers.”

If this is the type of woman I have to look forward to then why commit? So, men rather play the field and drink the milk of all the free cows roaming around. Once they get their fill or use up one, they move on to the other. You, my friend, are left empty and wondering what went wrong. Did you think he was the one?

You are powerful!

Stop giving up your power! He does not define who you are. Find your worth within yourself and you will attract he who is worthy of you. Decide what you can and will bring to the table and whether he is worthy to take a seat! It’s okay to eat alone!!! Once you realize that you’re worth more than rubies you will never again settle for being treated like costume jewelry.

Don’t worry ladies, I know there are two sides to a coin. Part two will talk about those men who are “dazed and confused”.

 

The Delusion of Love.

He descended from the  Arabian horse with pride and regality. Although, he stood among many who gathered to win the hand of the queen he stood alone. For her maidens whispered and blushed at the very sight of him. The rainbow of great knights brought a smile to her eyes as she stared out of the throne room window. They waited in anticipation to cross the bridge and enter her castle. They would drink and be merry before presenting themselves before the beautiful queen.

The moment finally came, the noble knight bowed down at the feet of the Queen and presented her with a single white rose. “This rose is magical and is a representation of my promise of love and adoration until we leave this world and ascend into the heavens. I vow to love you even  then.”  Words so sweet, she thought his lips dripped with honey.The queen’s trusted advisor permitted the knight to come forward. He took the queen’s hand kissed her palm and placed the rose within it.

Many came after him presenting gifts and declaring unending love. None touched the heart of the queen as the Irish knight. Dressed in all black made from the finest fabric money could buy. His skin as smooth as milk, set on fire by the bright redness of his full beard and hair. He warmed her heart and butterflies waltzed within. She was drunk with an infatuation for the knight.

The sun set many days welcoming the rising moon, yet the magical rose remained as new. He haunted her day and night! Finally, the time came, she made her decision, and the Irish knight would take the throne beside her. Her decision was against the advice of her trusted advisor, but the queen thought she must follow her heart.

Everyone in the kingdom was invited to celebrate the queen’s wedding; from the lowest of peasants to the noblest. She was a picture of beauty. The white lace gown traced her full curves; her copper skin peeked through the lace dress and veil. Onlookers stirred with excitement at her breathtaking beauty as she gracefully sauntered down the aisle to meet her future king. In her hand she carried the unaged single white rose he presented with the night he met her.

Happier than she had ever been, the queen would never forget the day she married the newly crowned king. Although, the queen’s advisor informed the queen that her days of happiness would not last until her end of time. Spiritual advisors advised the queen that her eyes were deceptive; she would bring great pain to herself, the reigning king and people of the land. Her heart was not the source of her decision. The spiritual advisors were beheaded! How dare anyone question the actions of her majesty!

Days evolved into weeks, months and then years. The queen again was sole ruler over the kingdom without the consult of the king; he was a mere footstool of the queen. She despised the man she’d come to know. The king loved the Queen even more than he did when he first met her acquaintance but his love was unrequited. Their marital bed was no longer; the once magical rose had long met its demise. The queen often wished she has never met her king. Regretful she never took the advice of her late advisor. Misery, dissolved his heart sending him to an early grave.

Happiness and love are feelings! Our eyes will deceive us when they are used to depict our emotions.

Where in the World is Lydia?

“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”

― Kevin Durant

 

Where have you been hiding? When is your next post? Is everything okay? The last two weeks has been a boxing match between talent and hard work. So far it has been a draw! Maintaining a work-life balance can be quite difficult. Juggling work and personal life are quite consuming. In my opinion; I manage pretty well considering! 

Work and the pursuit of…. More Work.

Most of my readers are old enough to remember the geographical game and show, “Where in The World is Carmen Sandiego?” Carmen traveled the world conspiring with crooks. I love being a virtual assistant, social media manager, and freelance writer it allows me to travel the world from the comfort of my home and network with entrepreneurs and fellow writers. I find enjoyment in being a gumshoe for startup’s, nurturing my client’s social media, helping them to develop their brand, watching the business grow, their baby becomes my child. They are often surprised and pleased by what I help them to accomplish. Needless to say marketing myself on Twitter, LinkedIn and freelance sites such as Upwork.com has been vital to keeping me busy.

Writing and a writer’s life.

My blog writing has been very limited, but my writing has not stopped. Before blogging, I did content and article writing for clients websites. Freelance writing is also a wonderful way to get recognized and make money. Although, lately I have been working on my memoir, fictional novel and compositions for Two Drops of Ink.  The literary blog voted one of the “100 Best Websites for Writers” for the second year in a row. Thanks to The Write Life for recognizing such a great site, team and all of its contributing authors. Guest blogging is also an awesome way to get exposure to the writing world. Two Drops of Ink is always accepting submissions.  I have so many ideas dancing around in my head, some have been jotted down, and some are begging to be released. It would take a lifetime to give birth to every idea or maybe quit my day job. So I devote at least two hours daily in need of releasing creative pressure.

Life at home.

We have been back home for two months. Well, at least I have! My dear Jimmy took a month off before heading back out. Which was not a part of the plan! That is the problem with passions. They can be an addiction. It is hard to live without or break free if it. Truck driving is his passion. Throughout the week he is out on the open road continuing his service to his country delivering freight and the weekends are for us. Our understanding the others need to do what we love for a living is what makes us work. Eight days to bond a month and four hours of phone time a day, I often miss my best friend. Two weeks ago we took a four day weekend together which was wonderful. Jimmy is my soul mate and so much more. In an attempt to make sure our beautiful union does not go lacking we promise to escape to the world where only we exist when we are together. It works.

For my friends and followers who have inquired about me, I say thanks. I am here. Grateful to have such caring friends and supporters. Honored that my clients trust me with their businesses.

Images courtesy of Pixabay

 

 

My Online Dating Nightmare

Considering Online Dating? Read This!!!

Single? If so, then we know how rough the dating scene is these days. Dating sites, social media, friends and family are the main avenues of meeting someone.  Very rarely if at all do we meet someone at the grocery store, mall, walking the dog or just hanging out with friends. We have friends who try to introduce us to someone, our mothers who want us to meet a guy or girl at their church. From my observation, as of 2010 the dating scene has moved into a totally different direction.

I was one of those busy people who had no time to date. As I think back, I had no desire to make myself available to date. Living in Orlando. Florida at the time. I had a great career that I dearly loved. A wonderful condo in the Lake Nona area. Most of my time was spent working, working out, or at home. Most of my friends were married with children or single with children. Occasionally we did have a girl’s night out.

Rachel a client of mine mentioned to me a couple of dating websites she used in the past. It took me a while to strike up enough nerve to go and create a profile. At first, I would go onto the sites just to check it out. Slowly the looking turned into curiosity. I for one grew very comfortable mingling with different eligible bachelors on my preferred site. I was definitely enjoying meeting interesting and handsome men with like interests. Within a couple of months of conversation, I found myself totally committed to Sam. Sam is a Computer Systems Analyst, he speaks five different languages and at that time was obtaining an academic degree in Economics. He also did a lot of traveling from Russia to other countries for business.

A year later Sam and I closed our dating profiles as a success story. We were head over heels in love, daily, we communicated via Skype and phone. Of course my family was not comfortable at all with the quick progression of this type of relationship.  They argued every disastrous scenario that could possibly occur. Through it all, Sam continued to be the charming man he always showed himself to be. Almost daily I would receive cards and letters by mail. He would send me flowers, gourmet chocolate, clothes, gifts of all kinds. Mom, my sister and I would enjoy spa days that Sam would pay for. Everything was so romantic.

I was flown to Russia April 2012, Sam and I were married June 22, 2012 in Maykop, Russia. It was so romantic and beautiful. Let me go back just a little. Originally, I was coming for a couple of weeks on vacation. To finally meet the man who I so desperately yearned to meet face to face. He was going to take off work and we were going to have a wonderful time. After the 19 hour trip, I was tired and moody but I must say from the first meeting in the airport he made everything perfect. I did not lift a finger and for the first couple of days I could do nothing but sleep because of the trip. Sam, a frequent traveler understood and made me very comfortable. May 25, 2012, Sam had a huge party for his birthday at a hotel. It was nicely decorated, Russian and American food, nice bottles of wine and vodka was served. The night was going great, we joined in a chorus of “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” and cut the cake. As we all stand around and wait for the speech, he quickly says a few words in Russian then proceeds to turn in my direction and get down on one knee. In English he proposes marriage with this beautiful ring. I had no idea and yes I accepted. Things did not seem a little weird…yet.

I was set to leave a week later but to my surprise, Sam made arrangements for me to stay longer. That’s when things started to get weird. He started to act as if I had no life in America to get back to. One Sunday as we ate in a restaurant, I asked him what date was I set to fly home. He proceeded to say when he purchased another ticket. I questioned him regarding the first ticket I arrived on he stated he cancelled that flight once he got my visa approved to stay longer. The next morning I wake up to Sam putting on a suit. I asked where we were going. He said it was time he went back to work.  I could not believe what I was hearing.

We lived as a happily married couple until the day I left. He worked daily, I spent days with his friends’ wives, shopping, learning to cook Russian food and playing with their children. I flew home June 27, 2012 with plans to start the process for him to move to the U.S. A week later we were talking via Skype, Sam mentions that he wanted to live near his brother and his family. I agreed that would not be a problem once he moved home. He insisted we start making preparations soon, we immediately started our search for a new home. Who would have thought I would have been uprooting my life two weeks later.

Everything about the condo we decided on was beautiful. The scenery was beautiful, open grass fields, woods, and a lake. The interior pictures were nice as well so we contacted the property management company for all the specifics. I set out a week later to move into my new home. Upon arriving at the condo, I was shocked by the appearance of the neighborhood and the outside of the building. It was nothing like the pictures. This place looked at least 10 years older.  Inside was not bad but not what I expected. Unfortunately the lease was signed and faxed off a week prior. Needless to say I spent the first couple of days at the local Marriott.  Regretting the day I would have to go back, the furniture would soon arrive. I would have to make the best of it for a year.

Over the year we started to encounter marital issues. Every week he had a different life plan. He went from us building a happy live here. To wanting me to move to Russia, Dubai, and the U.K. The arguments increased to the point of not even talking for three months. During our hiatus I moved to a house in a nearby small community where I still reside today. Currently, I’m still married to Sam and he still lives in Russia. I have not seen him in a year, not even on Skype and we talk occasionally. I feel as if I don’t know him anymore, if I ever truly knew him at all.

This is my true international online dating experience. I feel if I would have dated the traditional way I would not have encountered these issues. You eventually would have more face to face time with the person you’re considering making a part of your life. Seriously, this story could have gone so many different ways. I must take responsibility for the irresponsible decisions I have made along the way as well. Basically, I want someone else to learn from my mistakes. On a lighter note, it is also kind of comical. I find it funny at times.