Open Your Eyes: It’s An American Issue.

Control the Options: Get Others to Play with the Cards you Deal

The best deceptions are the ones that seem to give the other person a choice:  Your victims feel

they are in control but are actually your puppets.  Give people options that come out in your

favor whichever one they choose.  Force them to make choices between the lesser of two evils,

both of which serve your purpose.  Put them on the horns of a dilemma:  They are gored wherever they turn.

 

I wrestled with myself about whether I should write about the present events in America. Naturally, I decided to share my feelings, but I struggled again with what I should say and how I should say it. As a seeker and a speaker of the truth, I am unable to say what people want to hear. As I writer I am always prepared for any backlash due to the voicing of my views, but I refuse to follow the masses. We are not dealing with a race issue, it’s an American issue.

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A week ago the actor Jesse Williams, accepted the humanitarian award at the BET Awards and used that time to go on a five-minute rant about racial injustice and how the black community will mobilize and restructure their function and ours (paraphrased). This was the wrong speech to be given as a recipient of a humanitarian award and a bi- racial American. Mr. Williams, a teacher, should be aware of the power of words and how they mislead when not adequately clarified. He used his fame and the given platform to throw fuel on a small fire. If he honestly felt that police are failing to de- escalate situations, then he should have used that time to attempt to do so himself. Thus showing himself to be a true humanitarian. Mr. Williams is a shadow caster!

Black Lives Matter, #BlackLivesMatter… NO! All Lives Matter.

The trending and popular slogan “Black Lives Matter” is widely used by protesters, celebrities, media and our POTUS. My slogan is “All Lives Matter”. Genesis 1:27 compels me as a Christian to love all people and not harbor hate in my heart, no matter how another person may feel about me. Racism does still exist; I have never experienced it until I went out on the road with my husband. My response was not with anger, negativity and judgment of all Caucasians. Instead, I killed her ignorance with kindness! A smile, loving tone, peace in your heart and extending blessings is enough to convict her spiritually. I would protect a klansman or skinhead from being brutally beaten or murdered by another because that is what a Christian does. Their lives matter!

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Black Lives Matter is a tarnished organization. The founder Charles Wade is facing charges of human trafficking and prostitution. The life and chastity of the seventeen-year-old girl did not matter. This man who used the charities donations for his benefit is also a financial scammer. Mr. Wade alleges that conservatives have unfairly targeted him. Moral values and self- respect will not allow me to associate with this cause.

Killings by Law Enforcement is an American Issue.

The number of African Americans killed at the hands of law enforcement is high. BUT…. Yes there is a but. Let’s look at the number of Caucasians and others died at the hands of police that does not get media time. Just because it is not trending on social media or highly televised does not mean it is not happening. Here are the names of a few Americans who were murdered by police officers.

  • Caroline Small a mother of two was shot and killed by Glynn County, Georgia police officers. The officers joked about how they watched her head explode from the bullet. Ms. Small did not have a weapon and the officers were said to be justified in their actions.
  • Ryan Keith Bolinger was seen dancing in the street by an officer who thought he was either mentally ill or drunk. Mr. Bolinger was allowed to reenter his car and engaged police in a slow speed chase at 35 miles per hour. After the chase, the victim exited his vehicle and allegedly started to approach the officers car with a purpose. The officer shot through her rolled up window striking Mr. Bolinger in the torso; he died later at the hospital. The police faced no charges.
  • Gilbert Flores was being questioned by officers outside of his home after a domestic violence call. Officers claimed the victim had a knife in his possession. They proceeded to order Mr. Flores to put his hands up, and he complied. A witness stated a few seconds after he raised his hands in the air police shot
  • Autumn Steele killed by the officer who escorted her to the home she shared with her husband to retrieve her belongings. An argument between Mrs. Steele and her husband began outside, and the officer was attempting to break up the altercation. The family dog continued to be playful with the officer, but he was startled by the dog and proceeded to shoot. Autumn was struck in the chest and killed.

Caucasian Americans are murdered at the hands of police just as much as African Americans. Caucasians will file lawsuits, write their congressman or engage in quiet protests. It is easier to stir the wrong type of reaction from the black community. Killing cops and white people is not the answer. African Americans must take the time to realize who is the real enemy. Government and the judicial system is the blame for poorly trained officers and for their veiled attempt to divide and conquer. We are all in the same sinking ship together.

As a writer, I regularly encourage my readers to seek the truth; remove the veil. It is important that we read between the lines of what you see on TV and in the media. There are many sides to a story, and they will tell and show American citizens what they want them to know. Why hasn’t our presidential candidates come forward to speak to the issue? Hillary supporters, what is she doing to bring an end to this travesty in society? If she is the favorite among the black community and cares so much for the well- being of African Americans. What is she doing or going to do to stop the killings? Understand when pawns are being used to cause dissension between the races and when you are just a vote needed to gain office.

Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others

Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you.  You must seduce others into

wanting to move in your direction.  A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn.  And

the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses.  Soften

up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear.

Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you.

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The purpose for my writing about this issue is because too many people have died. Misplaced anger and hatred is a tool that in your possession and used against you. Violence begets violence and means more meaningless deaths. No one wins! You can no longer hold a race of people responsible for the actions of their ancestors. Every occurrence is not racially motivated, research the facts and make an educated decision. Strategically fight the good fight but fight the real enemy and not innocent people. We shall overcome if all Americans pull together as one demanding justice.

 

  

 

A Truckers Right to Bear Arms.

Support our truckers!!!

a truckers life

The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution states… “A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

Gun rights and laws were a sensitive subject over the last few years and remains a topic for debate. The cause for alarm among American citizens due to all of the mass shootings is understandable. It’s an appalling fact that as our troops fight on foreign land to protect us, we have to fight random acts of violence and terrorism in our own backyard. As a result of these troublesome occurrences, there are some who lobby for stricter gun laws. Who wish to do away with our second amendment rights. Would this solve the problem? While Americans stand, divided regarding gun laws and its effects on society. It’s imperative to weigh the pros and not allow the…

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I said… NO MORE!!!

This post will depict a true and disturbing story about how I survived domestic violence. Hopefully my story will help other victims and build awareness.

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We met while in the Navy in Norfolk, Virginia. I was stationed aboard the USS Ross (DDG- 71), he worked in the medical facility as a hospital corpsman that also worked with the Marines. Our meeting was short lived due to my newly commissioned ship always out at sea.

Our paths crossed again seven years later in Orlando, Florida and we picked up where we left off. Good looking, great sense of humor and intelligent were the qualities that drew me in. I loved his company so much that a couple of months later I moved in with him. Despite the constant warnings from my roommate to wait and take things a bit slower. There were no signs that this guy had deep routed issues.

It started with what I thought was just a little jealousy.

I was a personal fitness trainer so of course he inherited a free membership and would come to the gym to workout. His workouts would consist of him watching me interact with my male clients and co- workers. Daily, I would be interrogated regarding my many conversations with these men. If asked how my day went, that meant specifics about everything from who I worked out with to what I ate for lunch.

One day he came in and noticed the general manager and I in an office talking. When we exited he grabbed my arm with such force that I thought it would break. I was ushered out of the fitness facility across the parking lot over to my car. He began to yell about my flirting and demanding to know how long I had been cheating with my boss. My denial of his ridiculous accusations went unheard, later that evening I was locked out of the bedroom and forced to sleep on the couch. The next day he was very apologetic, he was inconsolably crying stating that his ultimate fear was losing me to someone else.

Domestic-Violence-hearing

As time passed his fear and jealousy evolved into a need to control me. It began with the breaking of my spirit!

Each day at some point he would find time to tell me I was useless due to the fact that I was no longer employed. He strategically sabotaged my ability to gain employment. He was unable to find unemployment due to his inability to keep a job and bad references. Insults were frequent, ranging from how I resembled a man because of my toned body and that I was not as pretty as I thought. He made sure to inform me that the mothers of his children were very beautiful women.

The aggressive pulling and shoving turned into slaps and punches.

There was an incident when we went out dancing with his best friend and his girlfriend. The night was the best night we had in a long time. We all enjoyed our night, we danced the night away. Who would have thought it would have ended with him repeatedly slamming me against a wall and blood streaming down my face? A mounted picture hit me on the head resulting in a gash not deep enough for stitches. He refused to take me to the hospital, he was medically able to attend to my wound. This was punishment for innocently dancing with another man.

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Finally, Dr. Jekyll exposes his Mr. Hyde.

What type of man chases a woman out of the house in the middle of the night? Running after me like a raging lunatic because I was too busy at work to return his call. Once he caught me, I was thrown to the ground and kicked repeatedly. Supposedly I was up to know good and attempting to leave him. As if this is normal behavior he picked me up carried me back into the apartment, tucked me in with a kiss and cuddled me as if nothing happened. Whispering in my ear that he loved me and would do anything to keep me in his life. He loved me more than life itself!!!

This tough, expert shooting, adventure seeking Navy girl was indeed broken. I often would ask myself… How did I get here? This question came mostly while nursing bruises. It’s not always the women who are timid or that have low self-esteem that are victimized. That is definitely a misconception that allows the signs of domestic violence to go unnoticed. Domestic violence often starts with brain washing and the breaking of the victims’ spirit. My abuser started with verbal abuse that progressed into brain washing and physical abuse.

Many people say…

Why stay?

Get help!

“I would never be in that situation”.

What’s wrong with her?

The same statements were made by me until I became a victim. I learned the offender finds the weakness of his victim and prey on them. My fiancée was very manipulative. He used the fact I was the primary bread winner. Repeatedly reminding me that he was unable to find a job, he would lose the condo and become homeless. He would say… “I will die without you.” He would cry and tell me he was not mentally well and needed help. Often thinking back to who to the person he used to be; hopeful that person still existed. So I stayed!!!

The opportunity to leave was always there.

Packing up the car and moving to another city and state lived in the back of my mind. Family and friends would have welcomed me with open arms no questions asked. They would have been my support system, not to mention my brothers and male friends would have beat him senseless. Most families like mine are unaware of what is going on behind closed doors. The abuse is a secret kept out of both fear and embarrassment. Not all victims have a support system to confide in or run to.

Warning signs are there!

There are ways to tell if someone you know is in an abusive relationship. Observe any changes outside of the victims’ ordinary behavior. Here are a few characteristics…

  • Antisocial behavior, especially if the victim is ordinarily very outgoing.
  • Nervous or fearful around partner.
  • Signs of depression.
  • Constantly checking in with significant other
  • Frequent injuries.
  • Partner shows signs of extreme jealousy.

I said “No More” after a night out with him and a female friend of mine. We originally planned for a girls’ night out but of course that was not allowed. After having a few drinks, we decided to spend the night at her condo to avoid the thirty-minute drive home. Sleepy and inebriated from the drinks I crawled into bed and ignored his sexual advances. Irate by my refusal he began to his usual yelling and insulting behavior. Fed up, I decided to go sleep on the couch. As I started for the bedroom door he grabbed me by the arm, spun me around and punched me in the jaw. Immediately, I saw stars and something inside me snapped simultaneously. I remember the first swing of the lamp from the bedside table then looking into the eyes of my friend. She was screaming at me…” Stop!”  “Snap out of it!” Apparently, I had blacked out.  Glancing over my shoulder, I could see him on the floor with blood streaming from his head, nose, mouth and eyes. I had no sympathy for him, just a heart full of disgust. To make a long story short. I drove myself to the police department to make a report. I remember standing in a room in a pink bath robe as a female officer took pictures of my face and all the bruises on my body. I drove to our apartment packed what I could in a hurry and left for good. All stories don’t end this way!

Stories of this nature would not have to be shared if we as a community get involved. We all can say “No More” to all types of abuse. 12.7 million people are physically abused, raped or stalked by their partners in one year. Domestic violence should not be tolerated. Report what you say and hear, refuse to turn a blind eye to all types of abuse. Please… say “No More” to domestic violence, let’s save lives.

NO MORE

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

KEN WHEATON

Novelist. Editor. Journalist. Business Writer.

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