Is dating over for women over 40 or are we the elite of all single women?

Over the past few years, it has come to my attention that there has been an increase of single 40 and over women. Yes, I am included in that number. We are not in a relationship due to divorce, separation, our career has required all of our attention or the inability to find the right mate. Some women seem to think now that in their40’s dating life is over. Personally, I have experienced the opposite.  Men seek out younger women, they say. I don’t see that as entirely accurate. In my case, I find that young and much older men are more attracted to me than men in my age range. Although, you must choose wisely!

Older men prefer younger women?

It’s not always about youth when it comes to older men and dating. As a woman over forty in the dating arena, I get asked out quite a bit on my dating site and in public by older men. I find that older men are attracted to me because of my young spirit. They seek women who will make them feel youthful. I admit that I do tend to discriminate a bit when it comes to going out with men 50 and over. Can he keep up?  That’s the question in my mind. I am an active and open-minded woman. I prefer a rock concert to go to dinner. An adventurous hike is more my style than walking in a park. Hell, let’s jump out of plain versus going on a hot air balloon ride. I am open about my interests and hobbies. These are not interests that I want to scratch off my bucket list. These are regular hobbies! Movie night is great but to keep my attention you have to be active. The older men who I come in contact with are of like mind and find that quality intriguing. I have met some that would give me a run for my money when it comes to activity level. One woman said… Older men are not as attractive as men my age and younger.  Where are you looking? I have met on and offline some older men who are gorgeous. I mean drool worthy! We also have to keep in mind that men are visual creatures. What does your appearance say to them? We have to take these factors into consideration. We don’t have tobe CoverGirl ready, fashionistas with perfect bodies. Although, we do wanna take care of ourselves and mix it up sometimes. My dating profile will show me all dolled up for a night on the town and what I look like on a typical football Sunday. I have even Skype or Face-timed with someone I’m dating at two in the morning when I think I look like death warmed over. “This is what you will get if we were to get serious!” I like to be as transparent as possible. My advice… Don’t turn your back on the older guys ladies!

Are you a Cougar? 

No. I am not a “Cougar!”Why is that a woman who dates a younger man has to wear that title? When the roles are reversed the man gets an “atta- boy” and a pat on the back? This stigma causes older women to turn down great guys just because of their age. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with dating a younger guy I have, and I will continue. Younger guys are more interested in me than guys my age and older. It can be for long-term, for friends, or for sex. I figure that out in the conversation. I also have a target age of 35. I don’t date guys under 35. I will be 42 in January. There, I told you. Now you know my age! Other factors determine where the relationship goes. Look, ladies! Younger men tend to want us more because…

  1. We have our shit together.
  2. The need to impress is long gone. 
  3. No pressure of marriage or to start a family. 
  4. We have more of an idea of what a man likes and what he needs. Wink! Wink! 

There are pros and cons of dating a younger man. Figure out what you want out of that type of relationship. Don’t be in a hurry! Take it nice and slow! 

Remember this! As women, we naturally have the upper hand. Those of us who are 40 and over and realize we have the upper hand have now tapped into a new sense of power. Now, all we have to do is learn how to use this power in the dating world to our advantage. We are at the prime of our lives, and we are the elite of the female species. So, own it! Most of all… have fun doing it!   

“A Prelude to Love.”

The beautiful woman swiftly whipped in between a car and a truck parked in front of the corner store. She could hear the loud laughter and conversation of the guys gathered outside over Ciara’s Body Party playing on her Bose system.  Yvonne freshened her lipstick and checked her hair in the rearview mirror. All in one motion she opened the door to her jeep swung her legs around and hopped out. Her blue leather 4-inch heels hit the ground with a click. She adjusted the white cotton mid thigh skirt that revealed the secret of her full hips and bum. She flipped up the collar on the jean jacket she wore over the v- neck white fitted shirt showing her flat tummy and breast that begged to be let free.

Her presence changed the mood of the once boisterous group. Calm and hungry glares came over the small crowd as she stepped onto the sidewalk. Yvonne smirked and winked at the crowd as she passed and made her way into the store. As she crossed the threshold, she could hear the men attempt to determine who had dibs. Yvonne stood in the snack aisle trying to decide what appealed to her taste buds the most. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she watched his calculated approach. Leisurely, he walked towards Yvonne; his hands tucked in the front pocket of his white hoodie, his baggy Levi jeans fell just right over his Timberland boots. He continued his approached as he snatched a bag of chips off the rack not missing a step. Casually stalking his prey.

“Excuse me?” He said at a whisper standing close enough to brush arms with Yvonne.

“Yes,” Yvonne responded brushing the blonde and brown hair from her eyes. Yvonne stared intensely into his slightly slanted brown eyes. His fitted blue beanie met his thick red eyebrows and complimented his pale skin. The ivory perfection caused butterflies to metamorphize deep inside her belly and commence a game of tag.

“You have beautiful eyes lady!” Scott said extending his hand. He was mesmerized by her big brown doe eyes, her chocolate complexion and full lips. Scott stared at Yvonne as if an angel of perfection descended from heaven for him alone.

“My name is Scott. What’s your name?” He asked still holding her hand in his.

“Yvonne,” she responded blushingly. She looked down at her hand in his.

“I’m sorry” he blushed, allowing her fingers to slide from his grip.

“How can I get to know you?” Scott barely managed to get out.

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Interrupted by the sound of R.E.M playing in her purse, she searched frantically before pulling out her cell phone.

“Can you excuse me for a second?” She asked putting the phone to her ear.

“I’ll be back,” he mimed in Yvonne’s direction after frantically checking his pockets.

Yvonne watched Scotts’ suave sway as he walked away throwing his medium sized bag of Lays potato chips on the counter and head out the door.

Uninterested in her current conversation. “Lemme call you back,” she said to the caller on the other end.

Quickly, Yvonne chose the almond joy she had been pondering over. She quickly made her way to the counter and paid for her items instructing the old man to add the Lays to her tab. She could hear the guys teasing Scott about her being “out of his league” and “too much woman for him.”

Yvonne grabbed her lipstick from her purse and scribbled her number across the front of the potato chip bag. Proud of her creativity she sashayed out to her jeep. Yvonne unlocked the door to her vehicle threw her items on the driver’s seat and made her way to Scott climbing down out of his own truck.

With a sly smile, she handed him the bag of Lays.

“You shouldn’t have done that! I seem to have misplaced my wallet.”

“It’s ok, you might want to pay close attention to that bag,” she said as she started to back away.

Scott glanced down at the bag then flipped it over. He noticed on the opposite side ten red numbers in the form of a phone number. Immediately he entered the number into his phone then held up the red trophy with the yellow background for his friends to admire. Yvonne sped away with a beep and a wave.

bwwm

 

 

KEN WHEATON

Novelist. Editor. Journalist. Business Writer.

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