Considering Online Dating? Read This!!!
Single? If so, then we know how rough the dating scene is these days. Dating sites, social media, friends and family are the main avenues of meeting someone. Very rarely if at all do we meet someone at the grocery store, mall, walking the dog or just hanging out with friends. We have friends who try to introduce us to someone, our mothers who want us to meet a guy or girl at their church. From my observation, as of 2010 the dating scene has moved into a totally different direction.
I was one of those busy people who had no time to date. As I think back, I had no desire to make myself available to date. Living in Orlando. Florida at the time. I had a great career that I dearly loved. A wonderful condo in the Lake Nona area. Most of my time was spent working, working out, or at home. Most of my friends were married with children or single with children. Occasionally we did have a girl’s night out.
Rachel a client of mine mentioned to me a couple of dating websites she used in the past. It took me a while to strike up enough nerve to go and create a profile. At first, I would go onto the sites just to check it out. Slowly the looking turned into curiosity. I for one grew very comfortable mingling with different eligible bachelors on my preferred site. I was definitely enjoying meeting interesting and handsome men with like interests. Within a couple of months of conversation, I found myself totally committed to Sam. Sam is a Computer Systems Analyst, he speaks five different languages and at that time was obtaining an academic degree in Economics. He also did a lot of traveling from Russia to other countries for business.
A year later Sam and I closed our dating profiles as a success story. We were head over heels in love, daily, we communicated via Skype and phone. Of course my family was not comfortable at all with the quick progression of this type of relationship. They argued every disastrous scenario that could possibly occur. Through it all, Sam continued to be the charming man he always showed himself to be. Almost daily I would receive cards and letters by mail. He would send me flowers, gourmet chocolate, clothes, gifts of all kinds. Mom, my sister and I would enjoy spa days that Sam would pay for. Everything was so romantic.
I was flown to Russia April 2012, Sam and I were married June 22, 2012 in Maykop, Russia. It was so romantic and beautiful. Let me go back just a little. Originally, I was coming for a couple of weeks on vacation. To finally meet the man who I so desperately yearned to meet face to face. He was going to take off work and we were going to have a wonderful time. After the 19 hour trip, I was tired and moody but I must say from the first meeting in the airport he made everything perfect. I did not lift a finger and for the first couple of days I could do nothing but sleep because of the trip. Sam, a frequent traveler understood and made me very comfortable. May 25, 2012, Sam had a huge party for his birthday at a hotel. It was nicely decorated, Russian and American food, nice bottles of wine and vodka was served. The night was going great, we joined in a chorus of “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” and cut the cake. As we all stand around and wait for the speech, he quickly says a few words in Russian then proceeds to turn in my direction and get down on one knee. In English he proposes marriage with this beautiful ring. I had no idea and yes I accepted. Things did not seem a little weird…yet.
I was set to leave a week later but to my surprise, Sam made arrangements for me to stay longer. That’s when things started to get weird. He started to act as if I had no life in America to get back to. One Sunday as we ate in a restaurant, I asked him what date was I set to fly home. He proceeded to say when he purchased another ticket. I questioned him regarding the first ticket I arrived on he stated he cancelled that flight once he got my visa approved to stay longer. The next morning I wake up to Sam putting on a suit. I asked where we were going. He said it was time he went back to work. I could not believe what I was hearing.
We lived as a happily married couple until the day I left. He worked daily, I spent days with his friends’ wives, shopping, learning to cook Russian food and playing with their children. I flew home June 27, 2012 with plans to start the process for him to move to the U.S. A week later we were talking via Skype, Sam mentions that he wanted to live near his brother and his family. I agreed that would not be a problem once he moved home. He insisted we start making preparations soon, we immediately started our search for a new home. Who would have thought I would have been uprooting my life two weeks later.
Everything about the condo we decided on was beautiful. The scenery was beautiful, open grass fields, woods, and a lake. The interior pictures were nice as well so we contacted the property management company for all the specifics. I set out a week later to move into my new home. Upon arriving at the condo, I was shocked by the appearance of the neighborhood and the outside of the building. It was nothing like the pictures. This place looked at least 10 years older. Inside was not bad but not what I expected. Unfortunately the lease was signed and faxed off a week prior. Needless to say I spent the first couple of days at the local Marriott. Regretting the day I would have to go back, the furniture would soon arrive. I would have to make the best of it for a year.
Over the year we started to encounter marital issues. Every week he had a different life plan. He went from us building a happy live here. To wanting me to move to Russia, Dubai, and the U.K. The arguments increased to the point of not even talking for three months. During our hiatus I moved to a house in a nearby small community where I still reside today. Currently, I’m still married to Sam and he still lives in Russia. I have not seen him in a year, not even on Skype and we talk occasionally. I feel as if I don’t know him anymore, if I ever truly knew him at all.
This is my true international online dating experience. I feel if I would have dated the traditional way I would not have encountered these issues. You eventually would have more face to face time with the person you’re considering making a part of your life. Seriously, this story could have gone so many different ways. I must take responsibility for the irresponsible decisions I have made along the way as well. Basically, I want someone else to learn from my mistakes. On a lighter note, it is also kind of comical. I find it funny at times.